In memory of Bernese lost during 2013 who are greatly missed
~ O ~
Sanmarwell American Pie ShCM
22nd September 2001 ~ 5th December 2013
Sandra Hipwell emailed;
"Sanmarwell American Pie ShCM went peacefully to sleep yesterday.
Old Father Time finally caught up with him after 12 years and
3 months of a happy, healthy and contented life. He did my small kennel
so proud. Although he was never made up to Champion, gaining 3 RCCs, he
will always be my champion. I'm sure that all of those who were
privileged to have met him, both in the show ring and out, will never forget him.
He was a true 'English gentleman' and a wonderful ambassador for the breed."
~ O ~
Tio - April 2003 ~ August 2013
Pete Garrard emailed on behalf of Malcolm Dewick;
"A tribute to a very special Bern;
August 8th 2013 was a very sad day for us, as we had to say goodbye
after 10 wonderful years to our lovely brave Bern, Tio.
Tio was extra special to us and to many others as she was diagnosed with
very bad hip dysplasia at 4 months old, and we were told by our vet that she would never walk
and that the best thing to do was to put her to sleep.
We ignored the vet’s advice on this occasion and took advice from friends;
swimming / therapy was suggested along with painkillers and happily, Tio improved.
A short time after this treatment we were able to leave off the pain killers and she lived
most of her 10 years without the need for any medication.
"Tio followed our first Bern Pepsi into carting with the Midland Bernese Carters
and we made a lightweight 2 wheeled cart for her to use at displays.
She achieved the Advance Level at carting and was placed in the top 4 on a number of occasions;
her last carting course was at the Central Club on 26th May 2013
where she achieved a Pass once again and was awarded
the Judge’s Special Award by Diane Crawshaw.
"Tio was a credit to the breed and a wonderful dog to own and admire.
She gave pleasure to many at steam events, fetes and rallies
and was always available to work and play.
She also attended Discover Dogs at Crufts for many years representing the breed,
a remarkable dog, much loved and never to be forgotten.
Malcolm, Heather and Champers"
~ O ~
Tango ~ Windlenell Lucy Locket at Boneidle
3rd July 2002 ~ 11th September 2013
Rita Doggrell emailed;
"My lovely girl Tango was given rest as she was having difficulty getting to her feet
but she was still a happy dog.
The decision was taken on the advice of our vet before she could suffer.
There is a very big gap on our living room floor, but she will always be with us."
~ O ~
Hendrix ~ Clanquaich Meall Chuaich Of Dumara
23rd July 2003 ~ 10th September 2013
Gillian Widdicombe emailed;
"It is with great sadness and a broken heart, after a long and protracted illness
(Hendrix had Fibrosis on his lung) I had to finally let my beautiful and wonderful dog Hendrix
pass over the Rainbow Bridge at the great age of 10 years and 7 weeks old.
I loved this dog with all my heart and soul so did my sons and I feel like
my heart has been ripped out of my chest.
A gorgeous boy who gave so much affection to so many people in residential homes
as he was a Care Dog for Canine Concern a charity that we belong to
which is based in Somerset.
Hendrix was a special favourite with the residents with dementia.
Thank you Deely Cumming (Clanquaich Dogs) for breeding such a great dog,
he was a giant of a dog in every respect.
We have been blessed with a superb dog with a wonderful loving temperament
who adored people. Given a choice between saying hello to a human or another dog
Hendrix would always choose the human.
Rest my sweet boy, my angel dog until we meet again,
Mummy, Lawrence, and Julian love you very much."
~ O ~
Luca ~ Monalou Lucky Lucan For Glenbrienz ShCM
1st August 2002 ~ 5th September 2013
Pete and Gill Rumble emailed;
"We have been blessed, thank you darling Luca.
God Bless you precious boy until.......... "
~ O ~
Merlot ~ Ch Vellbern Japanese Queen JW ShCM
th May 2004 ~ 28th August 2013
Aileen Trevett emailed;
"It is with great sadness and a heavy heart I have to say that our wonderful,
devoted, amazing, stubborn, loving Merlot has today been given sleep.
She has not been well for many months and we have treasured every extra second
we have had the privilege to share with her.
suffered another stroke, I could no longer live with the hope that she may still have time with us.
She was tired, she told me it was time to let her go.
"I try not to have favourites but she has given me the world.
She was my 1st for everything girlie. 1st Best in Show win, 1st Crufts win, 1st Junior Warrant winner,
1st Show Certificate of Merit winner, Most Promising Future Star, 1st Champion,
1st to give me a Champion son and a CC winning daughter,
Best Veteran at Crufts.
We have travelled far and wide in England and Ireland, she never let me down.
We have slept together in many hotel rooms Kid!
She was part of the Ruby Jubilee carting procession, 1st to get a First Draft.
"She always loved to be with Mum no matter where we went, but she could always be stubborn!
She soon let me know if she did not want to do something. She has left me with her daughter and granddaughter Vino and Rioja to help heal the pain,
and she gave to others many pups who give their owners so much love.
"Today has been one of the hardest days of my life.
I loved you so much Mops, please forgive me but I did the only thing I could and gave you peace.
My heart has broken into thousands of pieces.
Wait for me at the bridge Moppsy Lou. I’ll see you again XXXXX "
~ O ~
Sasha ~ Tangyachates Uptown Girl from Greybern
7th May 2005 ~ 7th August 2013
Dave and Linda Biggins emailed;
"It is with even greater sadness and a very heavy heart that we had to say goodbye
to our gorgeous girl on Wednesday 7th August 2013.
"We were on holiday in Scotland and we know that Sasha was having a lovely time
but her body just gave up in the cottage we were staying in on the Wednesday evening.
We are absolutely heartbroken about losing Sasha
and so close to losing Willow three weeks before, we know that Brewster is missing them both.
We are giving him lots of extra cuddles and he is helping us a lot.
"Sasha was our second Bernese and we were so thrilled
when we picked her up from Helena Turner at the beginning of July in the summer of 2005. Like Willow she was a joy to have, so devoted to us.
She did have her moments; she didn’t like to be left when she was young
and tried to chew her way through the wall.
"We called Sasha “The Devoted One”,
although she was devoted to the family it was Linda that she was very attentive to
and more close to.
Out of the three it was Sasha that never needed a lead while out walking
and was quite happy to trot along at the side of us
and never strayed away, she was such a good girl.
She was very caring and would only bark now and then.
When she was young we did wonder if she could bark but one day someone came in
and she barked, it was the deepest bark you had ever heard,
we couldn’t believe where such a big bark came from, I think she shocked herself.
Sasha used to love going over the field where we live with Willow and Brewster
and playing in the long grass with them.
"Even though Sasha was poorly she loved going out in the car
to places where she would sit and watch the world go by.
On holiday she would sit on the patio and watch all the sheep and the cows
in the fields at the back of us, or at the front watching us play badminton on the green.
She was also a very contented dog and loved to be with us just relaxing round the house."
~ O ~
Herbie ~ Agapamone Pat Pending For Tribern
14th March.2007 ~ 1st August 2013
Jan and Peter Ratcliffe emailed;
"We had noticed Herbie was a little under the weather and not eating as well
as normal for a couple of weeks but thought it was probably just due to
the unusually hot weather we had been having.
Nothing had prepared us for the enormous shock which followed when
a seemingly routine visit to the vet saw Herbie being diagnosed with cancer
and being taken from us all in the space of six hours.
"The abdominal mass that the vet found was initially thought to be a splenic tumour
and we left him for further investigation by scan and x-ray,
hoping that it would be confined to his spleen and that this could be removed.
Sadly later that afternoon while anaesthetised for the x-rays the true extent
of his illness became apparent with a tumour in his chest as well and the mass
not spleen but a massive kidney tumour
and we made the heart breaking decision not to wake him.
All the more devastating as we did not get to say a proper goodbye.
"He was a happy little soul who always looked like he had a grin on his face.
He was shown in his younger days and went to Crufts a couple of times,
loved riding in the car and in the last couple of years had taken part in several carting events
including the record breaking cart parade at the BMD Club of Scotland weekend show last year.
We will always remember him as “the cat’s butler”, when Leo our cat wanted
to come in or go out he would miaow and if no one heard him Herbie would woof a certain way
so we knew the cat wanted something; very annoying when it happened in the middle of night
because Leo wanted to come in for a snack then wanted to go out again!
"He was my Dad’s favourite dog and when he visited he always used to say
Herbie was his dog and we were just minding him
because my Mum wouldn’t have big dogs in the house.
Herbie died almost six months after my Dad so I hope he finally has his dog.
"Night, night, sleep tight and be a brave boy till we meet again xx "
~ O ~
Bruin ~ Duntiblae Flamboyant Lad
9th August 2004 ~ 26th July 2013
Michael Sellers and Lisa Walsh emailed;
"We are absolutely devastated by the death of our first and truly wonderful Bernese, "Bruin".
He was a big Bernese but had an even bigger personality.
There is now a massive hole in our lives.
"Everyone said they couldn't believe he was nearly 9 as he was so full of life and energy
and his movement was a pleasure to see.
Unfortunately in the space of about a week he went from a bold and energetic dog
to dying peacefully at home.
He succumbed to cancer of the gall bladder which took over his body in no time.
There was nothing we could do for him except love him, and make those last days special.
"Bruin was one of ten littermates bred by the late Diana Cochrane.
We chose him as he was the big character in the litter, was distinctively marked
with a brown toe and he immediately loved both of us.
We named him after my favourite teddy bear when I was little, and set about our new adventure
as proud owners of this wonderful Bernese puppy.
"Bruin spent most of his life living in the Forest of Dean.
He absolutely lived for his walks in the forest and when you got his lead or shouted "walkies"
his entire face would light up and he became so excited (even the day before he died).
"He loved learning new things and he never forgot any of the things he learnt at "dog school".
Bruin was a strong character though and he needed good discipline but the rewards
we got were so wonderful.
He always wanted cuddling but when you stopped he asked for more with a paw
or Bernese nudge and nearly always got what he wanted!
"We took Bruin on many holidays, and he loved meeting people and dogs.
When he was younger he always used to sit beside people in disability carts
for them to stroke and pat. It made his day and I'm sure it made theirs as well.
One particular girl, with cerebral palsy, was absolutely captivated with Bruin
and wanted to see him every time we went to the coast in Christchurch, Dorset.
"Our other Bernese "Byron", who was Bruin's half brother is missing him terribly.
He is 7 and they never spent a day apart.
He lay beside Bruin when he died, with total respect for him in death as in life.
We are now trying to give Byron extra attention and love, aware that his loss
is probably even greater than ours.
"We are blessed to have had such a wonderful boy from this wonderful breed.
It is some consolation to know that he had such a fantastic life, he didn't suffer for too long
and we have such fond memories in our minds and photo albums.
At the moment however, our loss is so raw, that we feel completely empty and
devastated at the loss of our loving and handsome Bruin. xx"
Willow ~ Collansues Cherry Bomb at Greybern
3rd November 2003 ~ 15th July 2013
Lin and Dave Biggins emailed;
"It is with great sadness and a very heavy heart that we had to say goodbye
to our gorgeous girl on Monday the 15th July 2013.
We are absolutely heartbroken and we know that both Sasha and Brewster are missing her.
Brewster keeps walking round and looking in the places that she used to lie
including under the shrubs in the back garden.
We are giving them lots of extra cuddles and they are helping us a lot.
Willow was our first Bernese and we were so thrilled when we picked her up
from Sue Flanagan and her daughter Nikki on that cold New Years Eve in 2003.
She filled our lives with her antics, including pinching remote controls
and pairs of glasses when she was young.
"We called Willow “The Mischievous One”, although she would have been
10 in November 2013 she still thought that she was a two year old.
Willow was the boss in our house and Sasha and Brewster respected her.
She was very caring and would bark for Sasha when she knew
she wanted to go outside to the toilet.
She was quite noisy when people went past the house
but no-one would have got past without her seeing them.
She loved everyone and would pester them for a cuddle if they didn’t take any notice of her.
Willow used to love going over the field where we live and playing with all the other dogs
that liked to walk there.
I am sure she thought all the little dogs were puppies and she used to try to mother them.
Even though she was losing the use of her back legs she was still full of energy
and was always ready to play and she didn’t let her disability get her down .
She was very contented when she was relaxing just with the family in the evenings.
"Willow will be greatly missed by us and all who knew her."
Dreckley - Tickbern High Jinks
20th May 2005 ~ 16th July 2013
Jayne Richards emailed;
"Just to let everyone know Tickbern High Jinks aka Dreckley (VNLB)
went over Rainbow Bridge on Tuesday.
"I just wanted to say what a special little man he was
and from the time I saw him at 4 weeks I knew in my heart he was going to be mine.
He picked us and it was love at first sight.
"As you know he has been a very naughty little man at times
with not liking the doors closed
and would always make a fuss when the wind blew
or if my phone was running low on battery
but I will miss him with all my heart.
"Good night and God bless xx"
Belle ~ Leekara Sapphire
9th November 2005 ~ 2nd July 2013
Angela and Chris Spooner emailed;
"The day after Boxing day 2005 we brought our new bundle home from West Wales
with our daughter and Tilly. That Christmas was very exciting, we were counting the days.
We gave Sapphire the name Belle as it was Christmas and it also gelled with the name Tilly.
Belle's nicknames were Princess and Bumble.
"Both the girls got on great never had a x word from the start.
Belle slept a lot as a pup so allowing Tilly to have 'me' time.
Tilly as a pup did not sleep much, she would rest but her brain was so active.
"When it was safe for Belle to run they had great fun together chasing each other
round the garden, hiding from each other under shrubs.
When Belle became the larger of the two she would pin Tilly down,
Tilly taking it all in her stride. Tilly was the boss, Belle never challenged her.
"Belle loved food in all forms, even up to the last day she was eating her normal food
with little extra's added here and there to spoil her rotten.
Belle was like Tilly, she loved her soft toys, soon as the hoover went on
she would fetch me a bear then do a little gallop around the lounge with the bear in her mouth.
She knew all her five bears by name she would always bring the right bear.
"In winter we would play hide the treat indoors; they would wait outside the lounge
while I would hid the treats, they had four pieces each to find.
They soon learnt what was hot and cold, soon as I opened the lounge door
it was a race to see who could get the first treat.
"We had a lovely short break in the camper van with Belle, April and May.
Belle loved going up to North Wales, if she saw a gate she had to go through it.
The last camp site we visited in May strangely the gate was never closed.
"Thank you for all the extra 'cwtch's' you gave us and kept us busy when we lost Tilly.
R.I.P. Our precious Princess."
"FLORA ~ Harvestbank Aquarius at Athollbern (The wee witch)
31st August 2004 ~ 26th June 2013.
Tom and Wendy Murray emailed;
"There’s that one special dog that you hope would always be with you forever,
well Flora was that special girl.
At reaching almost nine years she succumbed to a most dreadful cancer, Lymphoma.
It’s a terrible thing to say but it seems to me that the good ones always die hard
and they don’t deserve it.
"We treasure many special moments but most of all Flora always made us laugh.
She was sweet, full of devotion, we could rely on her, she was such a character
but she also had the devil in her at times to keep us on our toes.
She was very rarely ill and really did have a cast iron stomach.
She was such a scavenger, many a sock went missing off the clothes horse
and if one dropped off the washing line it was a quick race to see who could get to it first
because you knew if she got hold of it there was no way you would get it from her.
You could never leave tissues hanging out of your pocket because
she would have it out of there and munch on it as quick as anything.
"Flora mastered the art of knocking cones over in our displays and the kids loved it
but she had to learn the difference between doing it for fun
and then realising she couldn’t do it on the carting course and she learn’t.
"Two years ago she received a bronze medal in the overall Top Carting Dog of the year,
we were so proud of her. We decided to retire her after that from competition
but she still took part in displays and participated in the UK record
of the most carts in a parade at the Scottish Club Anniversary.
"There are so many things we will miss about Flora, she certainly lived life to the full.
Flora was also competed at Crufts and her last show was the Southern Show
in Veteran last year, where she came second. “A credit to her owners” was in her critique
a fitting end to her show career.
She has also been an ambassador on the Discover Dogs stand and attracted
much attention as they all do but to us she certainly was a credit to her breed.
"So go and eat all the corn beef you can find Flora (her guilty pleasure),
meet up with Duggie and knock them cones over till your hearts content.
Rest in Peace Flora X"
Halesbern Penny Lane ~ Zoe
5th July 2001 ~ 29th June 2013
(Halesbern Extra Special x Halesbern Paddys Pride)
Lynn Page emailed;
"Sadly I had to say goodbye to Zoe.
She didn't quite reach her 12th birthday and make very old bones like her mother
who got to 14 but every day with this lovely gentle girl was a bonus.
She survived 2 operations for isolated mast cell tumours which meant
having a toe removed two years ago and recovered well,
coping with three bandage changes every week at the vets for weeks on end
but apart from that never saw the vet.
It feels very empty without her here
but she will live on in her descendants here, in Holland and Australia."
Charlie ~ Emberfay Charlie Brown
3rd May 2006 ~ 12th June 2013
Debbie Morgan emailed;
"It is with great sadness that we had to say goodbye o our lovely boy.
After five doses of chemotherapy to relieve the symptoms
of histiosarcoma the cancer finally took over.
Loved and loyal member of the family,
Advanced carter with the Midland Bernese Carting Group
and Kennel Club Gold Good Citizen, he has left a massive gap in our lives."
Arthur ~ Halesbern Prae For Me
30th April 2006 ~ 3rd June 2013
Pauline and Rob Butcher wrote;
"Arthur was a real character and was very well known in Chalfont St Giles
and was particularly popular with local children.
One of his highlights was winning first prize in the village show
in the ‘Best 6 legs’ competition where,
along with our daughter Evie,
he wore lime green legwarmers and a funky t-shirt!
"We all miss him dreadfully.
How could you not love him?"
Polly ~ Glanzberg Misterious
8th October 1999 ~ 3rd June 2013
Margaret Bailey and Tim Williams
Pete and Wendy Garrard emailed;
"It is with great sadness that we have to announce the passing of Polly, (Glanzberg Misterious)
Tim Williams’ and Margaret Bailey’s lovely girl.
Those who saw the Veteran’s Parade at the GB Club’s Garden Party at Roade in May
will be aware that Polly, at just over 13 ½ was the star of the parade.
"Polly was Tim and Margaret’s first Bernese and we met them (and Polly)
for the first time at the Lamport Hall Steam Rally in 2001. Before long she was carting as part
of the Midland Bernese Carters Display Team and having caught the carting bug Tim, Margaret and Polly became regular participants in the displays.
"In February 2005 Polly was among a group of us who went to the Highlands of Scotland
for a week and our abiding memory of the trip is of her and our youngster, Niva, chasing
each other round a tree. Polly had the intelligence to realise that if she stopped,
Niva would catch her up, without the need for her to expend more energy – the look on Niva’s face
as she rounded the tree and found Polly waiting for her was hilarious!
"At around 5 years old Polly was diagnosed with a cancerous tumour on one of her toes.
The toe had to be amputated but Polly made a full recovery and after a period of recuperation
resumed her carting activities, finally retiring at the age of 7.
She still loved being part of the group meeting the public at charity fund raising events
however and at 11 years old she was still with us in the Centre MK at Milton Keynes
during the pre-Christmas Carting and charity collections there.
"As recently as the late May Bank Holiday she was watching proceedings
during the Central Club’s Working Cart Course Competition at Pimlico from the comfort
of her dog bed but on Monday, Tim and Margaret realised, sadly,
that the time had come to say goodbye.
Their vet came out to the house and Polly went quietly to sleep
under her favourite apple tree in the garden, following which she was laid to rest
in a corner of the paddock at Pimlico, where she enjoyed so many walks.
"It has been a privilege to have known such a lovely dog who has joined the ranks
of those who’ve proved that it is possible for Berns to achieve a ripe old age
and our thoughts are with Tim and Margaret who lavished such love and care on her.
Polly was born on 8th October 1999 and died on 3rd June 2013 aged 13 years and 8 months."
Duggie ~ Waldershelf MacDougal at Athollbern
28th February 2007 ~ 10th April 2013
Tom and Wendy Murray emailed;
"It is with a very heavy heart that we had to say goodbye to Duggie,
who suddenly died at home last Wednesday.
He meant the world to us, a soul mate to our son and we still can’t quite believe
he is no longer here. He has left a huge void in our lives.
"He was born and named Stripe by Steve and Jeanette
but soon became Duggie or ‘Duggie Monster’ to his friends.
Everyone who knew him fell in love with him and he became the dog that all the children
wanted to hug and take home with them, he became a legend by his own popularity.
"Duggie was a larger than life character and lived life to the full.
At home he was the guard dog, pack leader and protected me and his house mates
as though his life depended on it but away from home, he was also the perfect gentleman.
He was a big lump, and loved to drool over everyone he met,
a true sign of his affection!
He was funny in his ways, forever making us laugh, but had some real phobias.
I used to dread grooming him as he hated his feet being touched,
didn’t like his ears being cleaned and only just tolerated his coat been brushed.
I put this down to the fact that at his very first carting event, mud was the order of the day
and he wallowed in it, and since then we believe that’s the way he preferred to be.
"At the age of 2.5 yrs Duggie suddenly started fitting, which he coped with very well
although it did take it out of him and would take him a whole day to recover from,
but it didn’t stop him from carting which was his love in his life.
"Duggie was a working dog, a natural, right from the word go he went straight in a cart
no messing and for Tom became his trusted and loyal dog.
We had both handled him around the working cart course but we soon realised that he was
just too big to manoeuvre around some of the obstacles.
He was shown very lightly when he was younger, but he was much happier carting
and showing off to the general public in carting displays.
"We would just like to end this tribute to Duggie by saying what a wonderful dog he was
and was a great teacher to Haggis and Wallace who we hope have learnt from his strengths.
We will finish by just saying there will never ever be a dog quite like him.
RIP Dug, Dug. X "
Tchalla ~ Halesbern Kings Ransom
30th March 2000 ~ 19th March 2013
Halesbern Paddy's Pride x Halesbern Doves Delite
Lynn Page emailed;
"At just short of his 13th Birthday Tchalla has been put to sleep.
"For the last 3 years he had been back with me but was always glad to have frequent visits
from his first owner Mike and his Mum Mary whom he adored.
Other visitors couldn't believe he was an old dog. Tchalla proved it's possible to teach
an old dog new tricks; he took to being shown in the Veteran classes and
always enjoyed his day out.
The year he attended Crufts the judge asked if he was in the right class
as he was still very spritely at 11 and continued to be so until recently.
"RIP Tchalla, you will be missed by all of us old boy."
Harvey ~ Pasturegreen SOS
5th February 2006 ~ 18th March 2013
Ch Fortonpark Frankie Goes To Meadowpark x Lintock Opium At Pasturegreen
Philippa Green emailed;
"We had to have Harvey put to sleep on Monday afternoon,
seeing him in such pain at lunch time I knew the time had come for him
to join his mother Sophie.
With Sophie we never had to make that awful decision for her life was taken from us suddenly
but over the past week, old age had crept up on Harvey and his body started to fail him.
He didn’t die of anything really just that his body failed him and in the end
he was in pain with his hips and back and after taking a fall whilst being looked after
whilst we were at Crufts he went down hill very quickly,
before then he’d just been a bit stiff at times and slow getting up.
Even the strongest pain relief, acupuncture and Veterinary assistance couldn’t make him better.
We buried him under the family apple tree and put Sophie’s ashes in with him, together once again.
"Harvey was such a loyal and loving dog, he was full of character and energy
and we spent 2,596 wonderful days together, I saw him into this world and I saw him out of it
and now he is in peace with his Mother over the Rainbow Bridge.
I bred him, trained him, worked him, and in return he gave me unconditional love
and companionship, he knew me and I knew him and life will never be quite the same
without him, he was so very special and loved by so many and everyone who met him
never forgot him and over the past seven and a bit years,
he became a Master Carting Dog and gained his Gold Kennel Club Good Citizen Award."
Dexter ~ Ch & Ir Ch Harvestbank Achernar JW ShCM
31st August 2004 ~ 27th February 2013
Trish Goodyear emailed;
"It is with great sorrow I write to advise my handsome boy Ir & GB Ch Harvestbank Achernar JW ShCM
was put to sleep last Wednesday 27th February at the age of 8 ½.
Dexter was a dog in a million, my first pup born and bred and carried my affix Harvestbank
to Champion status both home and abroad.
"During his time with me we shared great fun and walks at home
and travelled the country from one end to the other
and even popping over on the Irish Sea to win a few Green Stars and CACIBs.
"Dexter won so much for me, especially my heart;
I will never forget you my true and trusted friend and soul mate.
Rest in Peace my beautiful boy I will always miss you."
Ch Jaybiem In Clement ~ 'Clem'
2nd October 2008 ~ 25th February 2013
Lisa Bridges emailed;
"Clem was ill for a very short time and we had to let him go yesterday.
Trust me, I tried everything possible to save him but we couldn't.
To say I am heartbroken is a understatement."